Day 25: Three Conditions to Acquire Excellent Manners

Asalaamu Alaaikum

It seems I am racing against the clock to put up reflections for the last days! It’s been such a hectic time. Additionally, I’ve been dealing with a bad cough. It reminds me of a guest who overstays their visit, they just don’t get the hint to leave and this cough isn’t leaving me anytime soon! :) Alhamdulilah ala kulli haal. Today’s reflection is from Ibn Qayyim (rh) and it’s centered on how to acquire the best of manners. As I mentioned in a previous post, manners are everything! It’s important we spend time perfecting both our manners and characters, as Deen without either is like an empty vessel!

Three Conditions to Acquire Excellent Manners

This is one example of the excellent manners with which Allah Ta’ala has equipped his Messenger . He described him as,

”And verily, you (O Muhammad ) are on an exalted standard of character.”
[68:4]

A’ishah (radiAllahu anha), described him as, “His character was just [a reflection of] the Qur’an.”
[Muslim, Abu Dawud, Ahmad]

Such excellent character cannot be attained without three conditions:

1. The foundation must be good. If one has a rough and dry nature, it will be hard for him to submit to this [excellence of character] through knowledge, will, or practice. On the other hand, a mild and smooth nature will be ready and willing to receive the plowing and the seeds [to prepare it for character excellence].

2. The soul must be strong and capable of conquering calls of laziness, transgression, and desire. Those matters contradict perfection, and souls which cannot defeat them will always be defeated and conquered.

3. [One must possess] a discerning knowledge of the truth of matters, enabling one to put them in the rightful position, and to distinguish between flash and cancer – between glass and jewels.

If these three qualities are present in a man, and Allah’s facilitation helps him, then he will be among those whom the best (husna) has been decreed and for whom Allah’s care has been secured.

From “The Magnificent Journey” by ibn ul Qayyim al Jawziyyah

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